Driving down the road in my pink convertible beetle, I have to admit, I am glad to finally see 2014 in my rear view mirror. I hope she (2014) wont take it personally. I had many wonderful experiences last year, but one negative one nearly spoiled them all.

Like most girls have at one time or another, I had to go through an unhappy break up. I pride myself on being a positive person though, so rather than wallowing in misery, I actually set my mind to thinking about why it happened, what to do about it, and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

In his 1961 classic song, Neil Sedaka said that “breaking up is hard to do”, but I don’t think that means we should do things that make it even harder on ourselves. I guess breakups are like so many other things in life, we can learn from them, but this time, can we please not say that “practice makes perfect”, because I don’t want to do this again.

Having said that, I do think you learn from every relationship. Things you like and the things you don’t. I know I learned several of both from mine.

Part of the problem, is that when you are in a serious relationship, your entire lives are so intertwined, that everything still connects you, even after it is over. You have the same friends; go to the same places, and like so many of the same things. Even pets.

Another problem is that when we look back we filter. We only remember the good parts, and we tend to let ourselves forget all the reasons we broke up in the first place. It is easy to think that you are missing “him” when all you are really missing is “it” (the relationship).

So what is the solution?

Very quickly I realized that friends and family are the key. You need to surround yourself with positive people and positive experiences. I am fortunate to have friends and family who give me nearly unlimited amounts of love, and this was, and still is, my salvation. Good days or bad, one thing is certain, I have never been lonely.

Keeping busy is just as important. Do things that make you feel good. Eat nice meals, travel, go to the gym, buy a cute new outfit, and spoil yourself with visits to Planet Beach. Being apart of the Planet Beach family has truly been life changing. Planet beach has given me the opportunity to create some unbelievable memories that I will cherish for a lifetime. There are so many new experiences waiting for you, if you just keep your eyes open.

It has occurred to me that if I am ultimately looking to find the man who fits perfectly into my life, maybe I need to get a little bit closer to figuring out what that life is going to be, before I can find a guy who will dovetail into it?

For most of us, our twenties are the first time in our lives that we are out of the nest, and living on our own. It is our first real chance to answer some of the big questions in life. Questions like, where do I want to live, and what kind of job do I want to have? Do I want to live in the city, or in a small town?

How could I possibly know the answer to that until I had tried both? I grew up in Sarnia, Ontario, so I already know the things I like about a small town, but what about a big city?

In my travels, I have visited many of them, but I suspected that living in one would be a very different experience, so last fall I packed up and moved to Toronto. I don’t have a verdict yet, but it has definitely been a big change for me.

Relationships are hard enough already. We don’t need to make them any harder by putting additional obstacles in our own way. It wouldn’t do me much good to fall in love with a lifeguard from Bondi Beach if I could only be happy living in Manhattan. I might have Barbie’s car, but that doesn’t mean I want Barbie’s boyfriend. (Blaine replaced Ken, by the way. In case you haven’t been keeping up on Barbie, her new bf is a hunky Australian surfer).

The answers to all these questions will be, and should be, different for each of us.

I am very excited for 2015. I step into the new year with my eyes and my heart wide open. I don’t know where life is going to take me, but I am bound and determined to live each day to the fullest.